Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Podcast #008: Maxku goes Shunga (video)

Salon Artwois publishes a Pillow Book.
MaxRaunchiness reads his own Maxku's to a background of Shunga.
Translated literally, the Japanese word shunga means picture of spring; "spring" is a common euphemism for sex.
There, we've said it. Sex. If tweetsmut has put you off in the past, cover your ears and look away now, for the high art of Maxku is definetly too explicit for you.

The images date back to four centuries, but Max's non-haiku's are as fresh as if they were written yesterday, which some of them were.
For reasons of privacy all Max's blondes, brunettes and redheads had their hair dyed for the video, but the rest is all au naturel.
So dim the lights, turn up the sound, have a sake, or sex if you dare - and enjoy!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

If Miranda won't go to the Folies Bergère ...

...the Follies - tralala - tralala - come to Miranda.

Happy Birthday, Miranda!

Odious Otto showed up with eight presents for Miranda's (Tralala56) birthday today! Humph! No, Salon Artwois shall not be outdone - watch this space for our vulpine ways. Many follies are soon to follow... Meanwhile, drinks are on the house! Happy Birthday, Miranda! Love, hugs & body shots!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Maxku Shunga Spring Pictures

Word is that there's a Maxku video in the making...
Be sure to avert your eyes when the time is there.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Laura! Oh. You too, Bill!

Martinis are on the house, everyone! Join us at Bar Twiculate to celebrate Laura's (Krafti_kit) birthday! Oh. Bill Shakespeare's too! As the Bard himself did scribe, "Heaven give thee many, many merry days"! Bedazzled with love and wine and song may you live long.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

ZimmerJohn Wins International Speech Contest!

Our very own ZimmerJohn won the Toastmasters District 59, Division E Int'l Speech Contest in Zurich! He is now going on to District Finals in The Hague in June! Drinks are on the house to celebrate! We've John's favourite too: Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale! Wassail!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Podcast #007: Brusque, Bad Haiku! (video)

Meditative Moments for the Weekend.

A Bad Haiku! reading by @mbdconroy and @SJHatzi dedicated to @jon-#IHateHaiku-powles, and dreamed to video by @harrarp.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Breaking news!

David (@dmriver) has fallen off his bike. Details will follow.

Bar Twiculate to Kara's Rescue!

What better way to wish anyone "Get Well Soon" than with booze? Alas, it seems most hospitals disagree. Not a single decent bar in them! The higher purpose of Bar Twiculate is to boldly serve (booze) where no one's served before... Now that Jon Powles is finally out of the hossie (do Australians make everything sound cute?) our next stop is in sunny San Diego to visit CaliforniaKara, also stranded at a hospital sans a decent bar, for a special delivery of Framboise Lambic! Cheers, Kara! Anything else we can get you, just whistle! Love, hugs and body shots!
Stay tuned for more "On The Road With Bar Twiculate". We're heading back down under to visit dmriver who just broke his collarbone after falling off his bike. As MaltaGoddess would say, "so many drinks to serve, so little time. *Sigh*." A bartWender's job is never done.

Happy Birthday, Neerja

Birthdays are not a destination, but a journey. May yours be filled with adventures and treasures and things many-splendoured.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

An Exotic Aloha to Tidd and Jane

Happy Birthday Tidd & Jane!

Let's get this party started! Our very own Bond girl @TiddK is having a birthday - Martinis, anyone? Jane @Lagadu123 thought she could get away with our not knowing it's her birthday (tsk, tsk, never undermine the oracular powers of the Artwiculati - we're in cahoots to party!) BartWender Harry is kidnapping and hauling her arse (the which we understand to mean derrière in Oz-speak) to re-parteeeeee! Official toast of the Artwiculati? Love, hugs & body shots! Happy birthday, Jane and Tidd! May the Muse be with you!
PS: Oh, yes. There is another surprise coming. Keep checking for Jane's and Tidd's exotic surprise...
*BartWender's Note: We had the Vodka waiting in the freezer for you, Tidd! Here's a triple with a lemon twist! Knickers down! I mean, bottoms up!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Welcome to the Salon!

Welcome to our new Salon Followers:
@baccatum, @KimCanha, @FrancisAdams14, @talmithe, @Dramagirl, @liendi11 and @yearning4d_sky!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Joncast - Fill 'er up!

Click image to enlarge: The Artwiculati all over Jonathans' Cast.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Bon Anniversaire Emma, here's the surprise!

One for all, and all for you!

Bon Anniversaire, Emma!

While MaxRaunchiness usually frequents gyms (clad in '70s track suits, headband and all) primarily to exercise his pick-up lines, he's been recently spied actually using the equipment (the gym's, not just his) getting ready for his BIG surprise for Emma's @emmaexpress birthday today! From all of us here at Salon (technically speaking; we've actually been hanging out at Bar Twiculate toasting to Emma with D'Artagnan cocktails) Happy Birthday touché girl! 
***BartWender notice: Armagnac et Grand Marnier,  toute le monde is here to celebrate your Birthday today Emma. Be sure to check back later today for the Grande Surprise. One for all, and all for you, santé! ***

Monday, April 5, 2010

A Morning in the Life of David Merrylees

Ever wonder what Australia is like? Here is an every day slice of life in the farm by dmriver, filmed for pal JonPowles who's still at the hospital & whose surgery was delayed (again!). You feel like you're driving right alongside David, from his house out to the paddocks where the tractor is. No one is talking. You crank up the tunes and take it all in. Enjoy!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Pissing Party at BarTwiculate

While @MaltaGoddess is off to hide her Easter Eggs, we can reveal the themed cocktail for the Drowner's Pissing Party: it's the "Golden Shower". Happy Easter everyone!

Those of you daring to mix one at home: take 2 oz Apple Juice, 1/2 oz. Galliano, 1/2 oz. Southern Comfort, 1/2 oz of Tequila Gold and some lemonade. Then get (un)dressed for the occasion and combine all the ingredients (except lemonade and Galliano) in a mixing tin, pour over ice in a collins glass, top with lemonade and float the Galliano.
***BartWender Notice: I suggest turning this shower party into a podcast. Suds are on the house. Viragoes can hurl iPads, cast-iron pottery and cheap china. ***

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Bar Twiculate To Jon's & Savannah's rescue!

38 minutes ago JonPowles tweeted: Bartwender, this one NEEDS a cocktail ... Then, just five minutes ago @StarOfSavannah echoed Jon's plea: This one NEEDS a cocktail too, please, BartWender. It's been a rough day. And @kado56 just added: maybe a "Dark and Stormy" served in teacups? Or a decent "Illusion"?

Bar Twiculate is open 24/7 for all your drinking needs! We recommend (and pour you) shots of Morphine Drip! (Layer 2 parts Butterscotch Schnapps, 1 Part Vodka, and float a bit of Bacardi 151 Rum on top).

Love, hugs & body shots!

SJHatzi filling in at Bar Twiculate for harrarp, last sighted chatting up MaltaGoddess
***BartWender Notice: The loud calls for sorrow drowning liquids and other reasons to get pissed may very well lead to a Drowners' Pissing Party this coming weekend ***
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